Did you ever find yourself judging someone because of the way they look? I know I have. That is honest, human nature. If people are worse off than you, you might feel empathy, compassion or nothing. If people are unlike you or different in race, color, ethnicity, gender, body fat, body height, hair, facial features, do you feel uncomfortable at times? I ask these questions because it is all too easy to judge others, wondering why they are the way they are, dress the way they do, have piercings and tattoos, and whatever else you happen to notice and comment on.
What would happen if you just stopped all the dialogue inside your head? Might you not see yourself somewhere in that mix of things from different times in your own life? Did you ever comment on the way you once looked when checking out your old photos? Granted, everyone wants to be accepted and they might try to do that by being what you consider outlandish. You have heard of passive/aggressive behavior where people act one way and do something different! The real issue discussed by Dr. Abraham Low is that you come to accept that your mental well being is the most important factor in your life. Why? Because without it, there is too much chaos, confusion and drama. Some people thrive on those three things because they don’t know any better. That is why compassion is important to have for others, and also for yourself.
My Mom used to have an expression which I think sums up a lot of these ideas on a judgment. “That’s what makes horse racing!” What that means if you are trying to figure it out is that everyone chooses their own horse to win. Not everyone bets on the same horse usually and that is what separates people. We all make our own decisions based on where we are in our lives at the current moment.
In counseling, I am never surprised to hear stories about what people were like in the past or the things that happened simply because everyone makes different choices. This can be related to anything from your lifestyle, to your hair, clothing, etc. It’s all based on your thinking and beliefs from other periods in your life. We easily see this when watching programs about what life was like in the past.
In closing, if you find yourself overwhelmed by judgment, can’t sleep or anything else affecting your mental well being and peace of mind, give me call or send an email. As many of my former clients have shared, I am grateful that they found a better way to live life. You can read their testimonies on my website at www.DrDeri.com. I look forward to hearing from you.