Going With The Flow
My blog this week is based on a lovely experience I had Sunday evening listening to a string quartet from Maryland with the four members who are part of the Sarasota Perlman annual music program. It was sponsored by the Jewish Federation at a local church and admission was free. You might be wondering what a string quartet has to do with the title.
If you play or study music, which I never have, I do at least understand that scores of music are written that convey messages. Some melodies are enchanting, happy, upbeat, and others are nostalgic, sorrowful, or discordant. Each of the musicians shared about the composer who wrote the movement they were going to perform. And you guessed it; all of the string movements reflected some of the adjectives I used.
I found this idea very akin to learning to go with the flow when things happen that both delight and horrify us. Life is like that. We have those very pleasant experiences and very sad experiences. I always remind clients that anyone who tells you they have led a problem-free life is delusional or lying! Seriously, the very nature of life as you have heard before is filled with beautiful sunrises and sunsets, and horrible storms that rip a life asunder.
What are we to do? The only things we can do are reach out for help, know where to go to get that help, ask questions, and look for answers. At the end of the day, so to speak, that is all we have; just that day and some days are better than others. Many of you have heard the expression of life being a journey. Lately, when I turn the news on and hear about another mentally ill person killing innocent people, I just shake my head. I don’t want to get to the point of numbness or not reacting. However, it is starting to feel like, “oh, no, not again.” And I wonder how people who live in war-torn countries or under the daily threats of annihilation carry on but carry on they do.
In my own personal journey of ongoing recovery from past unpleasant situations, I’ve learned through the study of mindfulness-based stress reduction the importance of accepting that everything in life is impermanent. And to each age, we have new lessons to learn. There was an excellent book written a while back entitled Necessary Losses by Dr. Judith Viorst. In her book, she outlined what the stages are of the things we lose, such as childhood, a parent or other loved one, our youth, our innocence, etc.
In my sixth decade of life, I of course now realize many things I didn’t when I was younger! Some things that were important in my 20’s and 30’s are no longer present. The same is true for every decade of your life, for that is the nature of the human experience. In closing, did you ever stop to think that as you age, sometimes you need people to help you, the same way you did the first eighteen years of your life? As you got older, you learned to do things on your own. It is an interesting lesson to think about, this going with the flow of life. Let me know what you discover.
Have a question or concern?
Ask Dr. Deri for a private response and advice on overcoming some of Life's Challenges.
Dr. Deri is available by appointment for one-on-one consultations by phone, Skype and in person to help release emotional pain or trauma.